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Roman Orthodox Patriarchate of Simpson, PA
Founder(s) Himself
Autocephaly/Autonomy declared 1975
Autocephaly/Autonomy recognized Not ever, by no one.
Current primate ASDamick
Headquarters Simpson, Pennsylvania
Primary territory His Apartment
Possessions abroad Guam, Virginia, Ohio, New York, North Carolina
Liturgical language(s) Middle English
Musical tradition Byzantine chant
Calendar Wait... there's a calendar?
Population estimate 2
Official website Andrew

Where can I join? I tried to go to their website, but couldn't find anything, unless this means that you're not starting your own church :-) Fr. John

You've found my secret lab, I see. You realize, of course, that this means you'll have to be taken care of, "Byzantine style." --Rdr. Andrew

I'll have my people talk to your people and we'll work something out :-). Fr. John

When's your next primatial visit to Guam? --magda